hot take: the answer to the Bury Your Gays trope does not automatically have to be only having the purest, softest coffee shop au kind of queer media and only the most uwuified queer characters. we can have dark queer media, queer media in the suspense and crime and horror and any other genres, morally grey and morally bankrupt (or at least not one-dimensionally heroic) queer characters — all without killing off every queer character that shows up in the media in question for no damn reason.
queer characters don’t have to all remain saints in G-rated comedies in order to stay alive in their media or to be worthwhile to the people viewing that media.
#also wanna add that like#i don’t believe you can NEVER EVER have a queer character die in media#(especially if the creator is queer)#but.#if that’s the ONLY story queer characters get in your media#then you have a problem#if you have one gay character in your story and they die#(especially to further het angst or show how sad it is 2 b gay)#then you have a fucking problem#but if you have a story full of queer characters#some of whom get happy endings#all of whom have strong stories#and a gay character dies#the playing field is a bit different#you can go dark and sad if dark and sad isn’t the only queer story you have to offer#file under: things i have too many thoughts about#etc
Please register online if you aren’t already. Check your registration and your friends. Lots of people don’t have much time left to register! Don’t wait until the last minute!
Or they need a girlfriend that doesn’t mind listening and trying to help them work through their shit and defeat their fucking demons without asking them to pour out their soul to a stranger who is only listening because it’s their job. That’s the kind of shit you do for the people you love.
your partner is not your therapist. listening to your partner is one thing, but it is not their responsibility to help you work through your shit. that is on you.
one more time.
your partner is not your therapist.
also if I may hop onto this, I REALLY hate when people try to spin “therapists only listen because it’s their job” as a BAD thing. can you imagine if we tried to apply that to literally any other profession?
“why take your phone into the store to get it fixed? they don’t care about you, they’re only doing their job.”
“I don’t want to order a pizza. they’re not making it for me out of the goodness of their hearts, they’re only doing it because it’s their job.”
“why didn’t you just have your girlfriend do that surgery instead of going to a stranger who only saved your life because it’s their job?”
it’s their job because they are better equipped to do it than the other people in your life. jesus christ.
I know I told this story before but last year I was having complications with a surgery and I just broke down in a public place and I was trying to gather myself, sitting and leaning on a wall when this girl in cowboy boots approached me and sat down and she asked what was wrong and I told her it was medical issues and she said “I understand, I have to have my foot amputated next week” and it shocked me out of crying and I was like “wow that sucks!” And she said “yeah.” And then she just touched my arm so tenderly and told me “I promise you that this problem will have its place, and everything is going to work out.” And the way she said it just made me really believe her. She said. “We’re just gonna have to cowgirl up.” And then she stood up and walked away and I’d call that a genuine encounter with an angel but the truth is there is a lot of goodness right here on earth in humanity and it’s shining and pure.
Okay but “this problem will have its place” is genuinely inspiring
THAT REALLY STRUCK ME because I’ve always hated the tired rhetoric of “this happened for a reason” and this feels like a more genuine, comforting take on that. Not “it happened for a reason,” but “this will find its spot in your life and your future that it fits into in a way that will eventually work out even though it sucks that it happened.” Love that.
tumblr backup 