and, more interestingly, in tony’s case: as a wannabe entrepreneur going through training and seminars and stuff, i was personally advised that, if i think my hands might betray lack of confidence (trembling, fidddling with shit, excessive face-touching, etc), i should keep them loosely out of sight or try to talk using them, while compromising chest openness as little as possible (ie, don’t fold your arms across your chest) (which, by the way, tony does A LOT throughout all movies, and it’s a huge huge huge hugE defensiveness/insecurity body language tell, but anyway, that’s a whole other post)
tony seems to be pretty aware that his hands are the achilles’ heel of his Fake Confidence ™, and indeed
check out that right hand. if you watch it in the movie, you’ll see that he keeps clenching it and unclenching it
the thing with the hands also places tony’s drinking in a very particular place. some alcoholics do develop the compulsion to not only drink (obviously), but also to physically hold a glass when they are feeling pressured, or [whatever emotion that’s associated with the urge to drink]. smokers might develop a similar thing (think about people who hold unlit cigarettes between their fingers even when they’re trying to stop)
(Kill Me, he doesn’t let go even when they’re being attacked. he actually holds on tighter, Kill Me)
also, this stance seems to be particularly prominent in avengers movies, which implies that this is where tony’s felt the most conscious urge to deliberately project confidence
which, you know. clearly means he was feeling insecure as fuck the whole time
tony: i dont go down on women but i expect them to suck my dick and thats how KINGS live
thor a feminist:
this is fake news don’t EVER disrespect pepper like this
Didn’t he, like, canonically get pegged by gamora too lmaooooooo
Yes
Wait this was pegging? I HAD NO IDEA LIKE I WAS SO INTO THIS TONY GAMORA PANEL ALREADY AND NOW IT IS LIKE 5000000000000000 TIMES BETTER. AJSKALAKKAKAA.
I saw this and went: “Hang on now… I remember reading that. I did NOT think they were pegging.” Then I dug it out and had a closer look:
Panel two, bottom left corner — that is definitely a strap-on harness. This whole thing makes so much more sense now. I cannot believe I didn’t see that before.
james rhodes (lifelong friend): on time in college we got really drunk and went to the roof to yell science is cool you nerds and then we blacked out
stephen strange (rich doctor): the other day he texted me that there was an emergency at the hospital and that he needed my help so i went as fast as i could but it turns out he was just visiting sick kids and wanted me to do some magic tricks
peter quill (human disaster): that time we f- (network censoring)
bruce banner (scientifically friendzoned): he called me at 3am one night and told me all about this experiment he was doing. turns out he wanted to make a hulk-based serum that would allow him to get steve and thor drunk. i dont know how he connected those to ideas but i went straight to the lab and worked all night with him. we failed, catastrophically, but it was a great night. (we may have gotten a bit drunk too)
thor (pirate angel god): i was really upset one day about my brother’s passing so he made me watch all harry potter films with him in one go. i do not know what it meant but i think it was special.
james “bucky” barnes (killed his parents): so one time we were on a mission with steve and some weird guy drugged him real bad. we were near stark’s place so i just showed up there hoping he wouldn’t, you know, kill me. he didnt say a word and let us in, started making some blood tests and called a (discret) doctor. steve was really out of it and couldnt stop saying weird and embarrassing shit about tony. even so stark was very kind and gentle with him, a bit sad about it too. when we were ready to go i thanked him and he asked me to take care of steve for him. im not sure i wouldve done the same in his position. he is a good man.
t’challa (literally royalty): the first time he came to wakanda he was so excited about our culture and technology he made a 500 page long thesis about why wakanda was the future of civilization. it was cute.
steve rogers (ex that broke his heart): once i told him i was bored at some politician’s party and he just rushed in with the iron man suit and told everyone captain america was needed somewhere else. we spent the night flying around the city and talking about our lives until the sun came up. god i miss him so much
Reporter in the Marvel unviverse: Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego “Iron Man,” under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving by an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting “I love sucking [expletive for male genitalia]” out of the open window.
A+ Concept, I love it, I’m dying, it’s too good.
It becomes the hottest new meme throughout the US. Every single time there’s some homophobic rally, Hell, every time there’s a rally held by homophobes whether or not the rally was ABOUT homophobia there’s now teens doing drive-by’s being like “Ahem, this one is for Tony Stark – I LOVE SUCKING [expletive for male genitalia]”. The meme keeps escalating as people find newer and funnier ways to bleep out what they are saying in real time and on Vine. The most popular way? The sound of a repulser charging up.
The whole thing drives homophobes crazy. They hate it so much, it literally has some people trying to create their own counter meme (”I love sucking UP TO JESUS”) that goes very very badly (exactly how you’d expect). So, out of options, they try to sue Tony.
Everybody should know better than to sue Tony.
His lawyers tear them apart. There’s an unholy grin on Tony’s face during the entire publicized case – he’s in a rainbow suit. He’s in rainbow shades. He’s wearing a harness over his suit and his shoes literally leave glitter footprints everywhere he goes. His tie says “I love sucking [REPULSER NOISE]”. Twitter goes nuts. A still of Tony from the trial, one where he is sarcastically blowing pink glitter into the face of a woman trying to hit him with a picket sign, becomes a reaction image nobody can resist. You wanna represent how tired you are of homophobic comments? That’s your image. It’s usually coupled by one of Rhodey in the background, military dress uniform smeared in glitter and a blatant glittery kiss mark pressed to his cheek, staring at the ceiling and praying for death.
Listen this is the best addition to my post and im both writing this into a fic and drawing fan art for it @purgatoryandme
I’m pretty sure that if you put this in front of RDJ he would provide us with actual footage of these things.
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