D&D is first and foremost a co-operative game and the enjoyment and comfort of fellow players takes precedence over whatever beautiful arc you have in your mind. If you want complete control of the narrative, write a novel.
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True for both players and DMs.
Corollary point: as a player, itâs your job to be an interesting protagonist in a way that still allows for the GM and other players to also have their fun. As a player if youâre just there to fuck around, not contribute to the story, or act like youâre the main character, go play a videogame instead.
The worst kind of player is the kind who uses their characterization to be a dick to their groupmates. âBut my character is just like thatâ well you made a bad character for this venue, do better by your team. Think about the other people at your table and whether youâre making it fun for everyone, not just yourself.
Tag: this
I donât want to be rich, I just want to be comfy.
Want to have one really nice set of plates and silverware for company and Thanksgiving.
Want to be able to buy a new outfit and a good bra at least a couple times a year.
Want to be able to give âjust becauseâ gifts.
Want to burn incense and candles in my home daily, and have nice soaps.
Want to be able to donate to charity frequently and without worry.
Want to buy hardcover books to read and put on a shelf for my kids to read someday.
Want to have candies in bowls for people who visit.
Want to be able to take my young siblings and cousins to a movie and let them get the big popcorn they wonât finish, because thereâs magic in just having it.
Want to have a linen closet or at least a linen shelf.
Want to go see live local theater several times a year.
Want to have a bottle of wine or champagne in the house for when I suddenly need to celebrate.
Want to have a kitchen with basic baking supplies so I can bake bread on the weekend, and pies for special occasions.
I just want to be comfy.
That is my definition of âwealthâ, as contrasted with âexcessâ. As my mother in law put it â if I can see a little something in a store that I know a friend would love, and just BUY it for them without having to worry about whether I can afford it in the budget, that means Iâm well off. And that? That is what I want.
For everyone. Â
Everyone.
relatableâŚ
tell me why any Democrat should support Manchin now
because the Republican heâs running against is far worse and Democrats need to retake the Senate, period. You canât do anything without a majority, thatâs just how the whole thing works
Normally I would very much agree, but likeâŚif a âDemocratâ habitually votes with the Republicans, then how are they actually Democrat? Manchinâs voting recording is scarcely better than that of Rand Paul and Susan Collins. If you canât rely on a politician as a Democratic vote, then you donât have them as part of your potential majority. What good is a vote you canât rely on?Â
The Democrats having a majority means they control all committees, which means they control what legislation comes *out* of committees and gets a vote, and what never comes to the floor. They have final say over the rules of parliamentary procedure. They can block Presidential nominees. Controlling Congress, even because of one shitty conservative Senator, basically gives the Democrats the institutional advantage and ability to influence legislation that they completely lack right now, which is why weâre in such constant crisis. People are constantly urging them to fight harder, as if this will materialize a majority out of thin air. If they donât control either the House or the Senate, they are virtually powerless.
Manchin represents a state that voted 68.5% for Trump, which was literally his largest margin of victory. In West Virginia, Manchin is consistently attacked for being âtoo liberal.â And like, letâs not forget that âscarcely betterâ than Rand Paul and Susan Collins still means something, because thereâs still a lot of room between the most conservative Democrats and âmoderateâ Republicans these days. Last summer, Manchin voted against the ACA repeal, while Paul voted for it. Manchin voted against the tax bill while Collins voted for it.Â
Also, the primary is over. In November heâs up against a Republican, not a more progressive Democrat. Itâs going to be one of them seated in the Senate in 2019. Even if control of the Senate were not in play, there is no way anyone on the left could honestly look at his opponent Patrick Morriseyâs positions and conclude it would be better to have him in the Senate. I hope that Manchin gets sidelined in a Democratic controlled Senate, but Iâm not willing to risk everything just to punish him for this cowardly, disgusting vote.
Guys please, FUCKING PLEASE. Learn from what happened in 2016.
SOMETIMES YOU DO NOT HAVE A PERFECT CANDIDATE.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND VOTE FOR THE LEAST SHITTY OPTION.
Manchin is trash and I am EXCITED to donate money to any democrat that primaries against him in the future but jfc people please please PLEASE do not do this shit now. He is the Democratic candidate.
Let me say that again. Manchin is THE democratic candidate. There is no other, more liberal option. There just isnât. The time for more liberal options was during the last primaries, which are now OVER.
So unless one of you has a time machine (in which case why the fuck have you not fixed the 2016 election bullshit?) MANCHIN IS THE ONLY OPTION.
We cannot and will not survive 2 more years of Republican control of both houses; if you value womenâs rights, the environment, LGBTQA issues, tax issues, free and open internet, BASICALLY ANYTHING THAT MAKES LIVING NOT SHITTY, you have one and ONLY ONE option:
VOTE DEMOCRAT.
VOTE DEMOCRAT even if they are a GIANT SHITTY COWARDLY CONSERVATIVE-LEANING WASTE OF A VOTE.
Because that shitty useless democrat is STILL better than adding one more republican to the House or Senate.
Politics is a game. Itâs an ugly game, but itâs one we quit at immense damage to ourselves. This is a fact everyone needs to learn.
Play the game. Make sure Manchin knows heâs on sufferance, but hold your damn nose and keep a Republican out of his seat until we have a better option
This goes for every Congressional* race: if theyâre a Republican, get rid of them. If theyâre a Democrat, support them. We have LEVERAGE within the democratic party, once theyâre back in power.
*hell, EVERY race this year and next. Get the GOP out, from the PTA on up.
Honestly if youâre female and youâre called for jury duty and during the elimination process youâre asked if youâve ever had any adverse experience with a man (harrassment or rape or any other male violence) just fuckin lie and say no. Then vote that fucker guilty
Women survivors are barred from serving on a jury but rapists are not even questioned. There can be no doubt that this is a major reason rapists walk free. Men have never played fair. It is time for women to start beating them at their own game. Our lives depend on it.
As someone who wants to be a prosecutor one day⌠I agree.
OK NO.Â
NO NO NO NO NO.Â
I am a defense attorney. I am a woman. I am also a sexual assault survivor. Â
THAT BEING SAID I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS POST ALL WEEK AND ITâSÂ SOOOOO FUCKING WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS.ÂItâs wrong not for any bullshit rape apologist shit, btw, itâs wrong BECAUSE THIS SHIT WILL LITERALLY FUCK YOU OVER AND FUCK OVER ANY RAPE VICTIMS TOO. Hereâs why:Â
(bear in mind this advice is gonna be MD specific since thatâs where I practice)
1) FIRST THINGS FIRST. Donât fucking lie. Donât you dare fucking lie when youâre being questioned at jury duty. Why? OK well first: youâre swearing to tell the truth under penalty of perjury. What that means is yes, you will face criminal charges. Criminal charges which, btw, will keep you off of any juries in the future.
Hereâs the thing, people (the law enforcement authorities and the defense counsel) WILL be able to find this out especially if you have ever filed a formal police report and/or spoken publicly about it. Yes, even on facebook. This ALSO means that if the fact that you lied about this is found out mid-trial itâs grounds for a mistrial with prejudice, if not a straight dismissal. Which means that hey, look, EVERYTHING HAS TO START ALL OVER AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH NEW JURORS.Â
2) The second thing is this: in many states, you donât just get dismissed after answering affirmatively. The voir dire process in MD works like this:
A) prosecutors and the defense come up with a list of questions to ask potential jurors. These are typically a combination of blanket questions you would ask at any trial (ex: have you ever been convicted of a crime in this jurisdiction) and specific questions tailored to the hearing in particular (like the question above). Both attorneys get the chance to view each otherâs questions and object to any particular questions that the other team may have.Â
B) So weâre at jury selection. Both attorneys argue preliminary whether or not questions get to be asked or not, submit the questions to the judge, and decide how to do the striking. (all at once submitted on paper, or alternating).Â
- B1) âstrikingâ means asking to get rid of a juror. A strike can be peremptory, i.e., you can strike for whatever reason you want and donât have to justify it, automatically. Or you can have a strike FOR CAUSE.   There are a limit to how many peremptory strikes/challenges you can have, depending on the jurisdiction, and the type of crime. And you may or may not have to justify those strikes and turn them into âfor cause.âÂ
- B2) generally if, during a question, a juror answers in the affirmative, the judge will ask you to go up to the bench to privately discuss it with the judge, and both attorneys. In this case they will ask if you or somebody you know was a victim. They will also ask if the incident occurred in the same jurisdiction and possibly involved the same arresting officers. They will THEN ask you if you feel so strongly that it will affect your ability to be IMPARTIALâthat is, will you still be able to only consider the facts presented to you in the court, and be able to judge something as proven beyond a reasonable doubt or not, or will you be biased?Â
- B3) If you say âI am so biasedâ then yeah, the judge will excuse you right away. But if you say âNo I think I can do it. I can be impartial.â youâll be asked to return to your seat.Â
C) The questions are now done. The attorneys then go through their strikes. Like I said, they have a limited number of the peremptory ones. And there are other limits too. You canât strike jurors on the basis of a âprotected classâ (i.e.: race, gender, religion etc.) and anything that SHOWS that an attorney is doing so a can be objected to by the other attorney. There doesnât have to be a âpatternâ but that helps (i.e. striking three women in a row). Every time a juror gets called and somebody requests a strike, the other attorney can either object or not. So itâs up to each attorney to protect the jurors they want (and btw other than the questions, in MD, the info you get as an attorney is the jurorâs name, age, job, and where they live, and their spouseâs job). If thereâs a disagreement then the judge will hear arguments either way. If itâs a protected class argument, the attorney who has been striking has to come up with a different reason to justify and thatâs got to be something UNRELATED to the protected class (ex: if you struck two Black guys in a row you canât say âoh well I didnât want THESE Black guys I wanted the other onesâ because thatâs still BASED ON RACE).Â
ââââ
3) SO HEREâS WHY ITâS SO FUCKED UP TO EVEN SUGGEST THIS SHIT AS A WAY TO âSOLVE THE PROBLEMâÂ
A)Â as I said above, you donât want to fucking lie.Â
B) also BEING A CONVICTED FELON, BTW, AND OTHER TYPES OF CONVICTIONS, DISQUALIFIES YOU FROM BEING ON THE JURY. SoâŚconvicted rapists? yeah, they canât actually serve. THIS IS LITERALLY A QUESTION ON THE JURY DUTY FORM AND IS A QUESTION ASKED AT EVERY STAGE OF SELECTION.Â
C) ALSO, in a couple of the posts Iâve seen theyâve mentioned this question was only asked for women. Iâm not sure really if I, as an attorney, would have phrased a question in a gendered way like this SINCE ITâS BASICALLY BEGGING FOR A CHALLENGE AS A PROTECTED CLASS OBJECTION. So fine, if itâs asked gender neutral? Thatâs OK, but as I said, you wonât get dismissed instantaneously (at least not in MD) as itâs not one of those automatic questions the court asks (i.e.: are you a citizen etc.). And so (again, in Md, Idk about other states) If you say âyes I can be impartialâ then fine. Sit your ass down and wait for an attorney to strike you.Â
D) so if you DO have an attorney striking you, I would ABSOLUTELY object to any attorney who systematically struck ALL THE WOMEN from a jury panel. Because fuck that thatâs a protected class that fucking SO DEMONSTRATIVE of a violation of the law. ITâS GENDER BASED. Whoever the prosecutor was who allowed a defense attorney to get away with that shit just wasnât doing their fucking job.Â
E) And in terms of this post? about nobody caring? Fuck that if I was a prosecutor I would absolutely ask if any person (âPERSONâ DAMN IT NOT JUST MEN BECAUSE THE WIVES/SISTERS/MOTHERS etc. OF MEN WHO ARE ACCUSED OF RAPE ARE ALSO FUCKING BIASED) had ever been accused of rape or sexual assault or knew somebody who did etc. Thatâs just good lawyering. Itâs sloppy not to do so.Â
F) And as a defense attorney, NGL, I would want to know the answer too, in order to make sure to challenge those strikes. Â
ââ-
I get it. I fucking get it. And some of these things will depend on how fucked up your judge is and how good the other side is. But this shit about âOH HEY JUST LIEâ FUCK ME NO. DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS. Â
Iâm so fucking furious that people are spreading this like itâs a good damn idea and something that will work. Honestly this is so fucking stupid and dangerous to me that Iâm suspiciousâis this for real? Or is this somebody trying to false information troll people?Â
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DO THIS. Answer your questions truthfully and let the lawyers do their damn job. Yes, it sucks, but at the end of the day, people in this country are INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. And your job, as a juror, is to ASSESS ONLY THE FACTS AND ARGUMENTS PRESENTED TO YOU, AND TO SEE IF THE STATE WAS ABLE TO PROVE THAT THIS PARTICULAR SUSPECT DID IT. AND THEY DID IT BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT.Â
THe fact is, not all rape cases go to trial. And the ones that do, DISPROPORTIONATELY charge men of color (in particular, Black and Latino men). You cannot believe in equality, fight against racism, protect the constitution AND ALSo try to do this shit. Itâs fucked up and completely inconsistent and yet another way to fuck with the justice system. doing this will probably allow more alleged rapists to go free than it will allow for equality in jury selection.Â
TL;DR: this shit is really fucking bad advice and not the way to actually go about doing things. Â stop giving people legal advice IF YOU ARENâT A LAWYER. ESPECIALLY IF THAT LEGAL ADVICE that will actually put them in jail, people.
Important point from Trevor Noah on @thedailyshow đ
my favorite Millennial Thing⢠is when a group of us are standing around and talking and someone asks a question that no one knows the answer to and suddenly itâs a race to get out your phone and google it and be the first to know, and then someone starts reading the Wikipedia article about the thing aloud to everyone else, and what started as a casual conversation is now A Learning Opportunity and we all walk away a little more knowledgeable about a random topic
Like, Boomers hate when we do that, but I think itâs one of the best things about us.
So long as we have internet or a cell signal, all of the worldâs collective knowledge is at our fingertips, and damned if we arenât going to use it.
My dad always get mad when I do this. Heâs always like âWe didnât need to know.â That makes no sense to me. Why would that make me ignore my ability to learn something? I donât always *need* to know but that doesnât mean Iâm going to pass up an opportunity to learn something new.
Why carry a supercomputer around in your pocket if youâre not gonna use it?
theres something that feels very colonial/imperialist about superfood fads
the idea that a rare and exotic grain or berry from some pristine Ecuadorian mountain or a salt slab from âthe himalayasâ(those are all mined in Pakistan) will suddenly cure you with their magical benefits is all pseudoscience. eating more fresh produce is definitely good but the âmagical nutrientsâ of those superfoods are no different than common produce, and thereâs no food that makes you slimmer thatâs not how calories work, its snake oil. and it causes damage from overfarming and making a once staple food in a community inaccessible when its value soars, leaving them open to predation from food giant.
anyways iâm just tired of Bethany from facebook bragging about âdiscoveringâ the health magic of some new plant from cambodia or whatever, but in reality itâs advertisers making this shit tantalising to justify an insane price markup of a superfood and playing to that colonial mindset that things from a foreign far away land used traditionally by its natives is instantly mystical and cool so you want it. frankly it reminds of the victorianâs egyptomania craze when people believed in the health properties of mummies
I have a friend that insists that sea salt and pink salt are better than âregular saltâ because its âless processedâ and has more minerals.
Iâm not paying double for salt because of âextra minerals,â I get enough minerals from tapwater. ITS ALL SALT TODD.
hot take: the answer to the Bury Your Gays trope does not automatically have to be only having the purest, softest coffee shop au kind of queer media and only the most uwuified queer characters. we can have dark queer media, queer media in the suspense and crime and horror and any other genres, morally grey and morally bankrupt (or at least not one-dimensionally heroic) queer characters â all without killing off every queer character that shows up in the media in question for no damn reason.Â
queer characters donât have to all remain saints in G-rated comedies in order to stay alive in their media or to be worthwhile to the people viewing that media.Â
#also wanna add that like#i donât believe you can NEVER EVER have a queer character die in media#(especially if the creator is queer)#but.#if thatâs the ONLY story queer characters get in your media#then you have a problem#if you have one gay character in your story and they die#(especially to further het angst or show how sad it is 2 b gay)#then you have a fucking problem#but if you have a story full of queer characters#some of whom get happy endings#all of whom have strong stories#and a gay character dies#the playing field is a bit different#you can go dark and sad if dark and sad isnât the only queer story you have to offer#file under: things i have too many thoughts about#etcÂ
(via wellavellan)
yâall need therapy. not girlfriends
Or they need a girlfriend that doesnât mind listening and trying to help them work through their shit and defeat their fucking demons without asking them to pour out their soul to a stranger who is only listening because itâs their job. Thatâs the kind of shit you do for the people you love.
your partner is not your therapist. listening to your partner is one thing, but it is not their responsibility to help you work through your shit. that is on you.
one more time.
your partner is not your therapist.
also if I may hop onto this, I REALLY hate when people try to spin âtherapists only listen because itâs their jobâ as a BAD thing. can you imagine if we tried to apply that to literally any other profession?
âwhy take your phone into the store to get it fixed? they donât care about you, theyâre only doing their job.â
âI donât want to order a pizza. theyâre not making it for me out of the goodness of their hearts, theyâre only doing it because itâs their job.â
âwhy didnât you just have your girlfriend do that surgery instead of going to a stranger who only saved your life because itâs their job?â
itâs their job because they are better equipped to do it than the other people in your life. jesus christ.Â


