alphasoldier:

howler32557038:

givemebackmybucky:

bucky in fic: steve u asshole u could’ve been killed! what were u thinking? let me bandage u up and get u a nice cup of tea, i love u so much

actual bucky:

STEVE: To be used a weapon against your will…I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.

BUCKY: U GONNA LEARN

This keeps showing up on my dash and I have to reblog each time, because “U GONNA LEARN” never fails to make me lose my shit.

iprayforangels:

The fact that Steve hasn’t told any Marx Brothers level corny jokes in the MCU is a crime and you know it. I swear to god. That was the brand of humor popular in the thirties and forties. Steve would absolutely say “I once shot a nazi in my pajamas.” And everyone would be like “really?” And he’d totally deadpan be like “yeah, how he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.” And while I’m certain that Thor, Clint, and Peter would fuckin love that everyone else would hate it. Natasha might personally kill him I’m not sure.

kelslk:

This created my personal headcanon that Steve is awkward as fuck with babies and holding one makes him ridiculously uncomfortable. it’s like, “It’s so tiny what do I do with it? Don’t crush it, don’t crush it, don’t crush. Oh God, it’s crying, what did I do? I must’ve done something. I broke it. My patriotism does nothing. Do I sing to it? Do I recite the Bill of Rights? I don’t even think I know the entire Bill of Rights. Wow, today is horrible.” 

armoredsoftie:

ironmess:

Reporter: We are live in front of the Avengers Compound. Word is that Captain America is training on the building! We hope to see a peak of this heroic man’s life !

Steve, opening the window, naked and fliping the bird: FUCK YOU TRUMP

talkshow host, weeks after the incident: so steve, you’ve been very vocal about your inconformity with the current head of government

steve, staring straight to the camera: yeah i want to stick my leg up trump’s ass until i tear him in half

brokeourredstringoffate:

thelulusoldier:

jensenfrickelfrackel:

wildwiccankitty:

manigotacrappyau:

johnwatsonismyspiritanimal:

sarah-the-artiste:

amuseoffyre:

saathi1013:

virginiagentlenerd:

1. Steve Rogers is not just some dumb soldier who follows orders, he thinks outside the box and asks questions and considers consequences.

2. Peggy Carter had plans to eat that boy alive before he became a delicious roast beefcake in Howard Stark’s hottie machine. 

3. I don’t understand people who didn’t enjoy this movie. 

LAUGHING FOREVER AT #2 BECAUSE PERFECTION

Roast beefcake is just added bonus:

image

everybody wanted to eat that roast beefcake

Seriously. In the taxi cab she was totally planning on taking his virginity. 

And then he got all beefy and she was like “Shit. Heart of gold AND pecs that could crack a walnut between them? How am I supposed to deal with this?????”

The nurse in the background is just thinking “Do it. Do it for all of us. Do him for all of us”

Have only seen this post in screenshots and I’m honored to come across it now 

@shayara “do him for all of us” bye

proud to reblog this for the tenth time

The real tragedy of that movie was that she never got to bang him for all of us

shetanshadowwolf:

orangeyjuicy:

jasmancer:

jasmancer:

Steve Rogers uses voice to text to send texts and formats them like a telegram

HEY BUCK STOP SAM AND I ARE OUT SHOPPING STOP WANT US TO PICK UP SOME TAKEOUT STOP

Steve rogers fully understands that this is not the correct way to text. He just likes the absolute outrage it causes every time someone receives a text from him and wants to see how many times he can make the same people explain texting to him until they realize. Sam is currently at 14 times, beating out tony who’s at nine. Twice now shuri has facetimed him after reading bucky’s texts. He’s also managed to convince thor that this is the Earth Way to text and it’s great

HC fully accepted.

faun-songs:

superhusbands4ever:

Steve in Cap PSAs: Take it from a guy who was frozen in ice for 65 years. If there’s one way to be cool, it’s to follow the rules

Bucky hopping out of cryo in Wakanda: StEvE RoGeRS has never followed a GOD DAMN RULE in his life.

PSA: Watch your language! Manners arent what they used to be in the 30s.
Bucky, retching: Im disowning you on behalf of Brooklyn you twofaced liar you swear in your sleep