Jack: I’m Shitty Knight’s emergency contact.
Campus Security: So you’re here to pick him up?
Jack: I’m here to remove myself as his emergency contact.
Tag: shitty b knight
this is incredibly specific but i’d imagine jack telling shitty about the first time he kissed bitty would play out EXACTLY like in the fifth harry potter book when harry tells ron he kissed cho chang
shitty: well, how was it?
jack: wet.
shitty: [incomprehensible noise]
jack: because he was crying.
shitty: oh. are you that bad at kissing???
when people insist you have a normal middle name instead of some shit like ‘bourgeosie’
(ref)
(PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN CAPTIONS LMAO)
When someone says they’re gonna end up dating Jack but they aren’t Bitty or yourself, so you gotta set them straight
do any smh alumni visit often? if yes, who?
Tater: You can also call me “дядя попoйка” or “дядя картошка”.
Shitty: And you can call me Uncle Shitty.
Jack: Uh….Jack.
tumblr backup 
