monster factory gave us many iconic moments but one of the most underappreciated ones is the time griffin searched for his family on the sims 4 character database.
came up with a new pointless kink identity. it’s called friend dom. it’s when you have to come up with every activity for hangout sessions cuz your friend is too indecisive or laid back and never decides on what they wanna do
ah, yes, the “julie the cruise director” role.
this somewhat demystifies why i always wanted her to spank me
My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex at 10:25am. And, while this feels like retaliation, I can only hope it mellows her out and she stops stomping around all the goddamn time
Wow in the time it took me to type up and tag this post, the sex started and ended…… she’ll prolly be vacuuming soon. 🙁
It’s 10:29 and the sex has ended. I am v sad for her
I feel like I jinxed her. Like her nigga follows me on here and saw this post, mid thrust, and got performance anxiety. I’m sorry, Upstairs Stomping Bitch.
There’s stomping. She’s up and moving around. And you know what….. I can’t even be mad anymore. If I was only getting fucked for seven minutes at a time, I’d stomp around too.
Y’all she’s showing tf out. She’s really up there like
Damn I just heard her door close and then footsteps coming down the stairs. He left 😭😭😭 he’s not even gonna try again.
I’m gonna need ear plugs for the level of stomping this is bound to cause. When her feet inevitably crash through my ceiling ima just look through the hole and be like “hi…. sorry you didn’t get fucked down this morning. Even tho you filed a noise complaint on me that one time, I was rooting for you.”
Update y’all: it’s 3:10pm and she is vacuuming THE FUCK out of the hardwood flooring
But then like, that really does sound like something ppl that are in need of orgasm do. Just extremely unnecessary cleaning, to take their mind off the lack of sexual release.
I can see the text conversation now.
“I heard Aaron came over last nightttt. Whatd you guys get up to???👀👀👀😏”
“Not much. Oh! But, I did finally get a chance to mop my bathtub tho!!🤗 It was a mess in there, so thank god.”
“😬😔”
It’s 12:26am and she is getting her back blown tf outttt. Cannot be the same nigga from earlier.
I have the strong urge to knock the broom against the ceiling and holler out “yaaas bitch get some bomb ass dick” but I don’t wanna fuck up the vibe
Nvm. It lasted from 12:20-12:28. It’s the same nigga.
She better not start stomping or cleaning. I’ll file a noise complaint so fucking fast. Imagine getting a noise complaint for shitty sex. Don’t do it, Stomping Upstairs Bitch
REVIEWS FOR VENOM JUST CAME IN AND IT’S A 28% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!!!! THIS MOVIES GONNA BE SO FUCKIN FUNNY IM SO EXCITED. GOD I LOVE TERRIBLE SPIDERMAN MOVIES
“If you replaced Tom Hardy for Steve Martin in “All of Me,” and switched out Lily Tomlin for a wad of chewed-up black licorice, you’d have “Venom.”“
“When a major fight scene resembles a pair of black pants caught in a white wash, it’s fair to say you haven’t taken the audience with you.”
“It’s a train wreck of a movie, mixing and matching wildly dissonant tones, bizarre plot contrivances, and a truly unique lead performance.”
“Tom Hardy seems to be trying to be the first actor to win an Oscar and a Razzie for the same performance.”
“A film that feels like what you’d expect from a below average superhero flick circa 2004, like Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four.”
^ some of my fave critic review excerpts. i have never been more excited
some more
“The movie is so ridiculous that many viewers will at least be entertained in a dumbfounded way.”
“Think Affleck Daredevil. Think Ang Lee Hulk. Think Halle Berry Catwoman. That’s… I mean, that’s really all there is to be said, I think.”
“This is a movie that somehow slipped through a wormhole from 2004. That’s my biggest take. It’s a movie that spilled from the pre-MCU era through a crack in time and space… The humor, the story beats, everything right down to the Eminem theme song feels like it emerged Kimmy Schmidt style from a sealed off early ‘00s bunker.”
“Sorry to say that Venom is pretty much a complete failure — a tonal mess that feels 15 years old, ignoring the storytelling strides that the superhero genre has made in recent years.”
“Not sure I had the intended reactions to some scenes, but fun is fun — even when it’s totally ridiculous, right? It’s too bad they didn’t go for the R rating, though.”
“The cast seems to all know they’re in a darker superhero movie, except Tom Hardy who is basically remaking Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar.”
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