omfg – Page 33 – tumblr backup

exoskyll:

sin-artist:

catf8sh:

thisiswhymomworries:

thisiswhymomworries:

thisiswhymomworries:

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you move out and have a house of your own 🙂

me, in this economy: a what

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you get married and have a husband 🙂

me, a known gay: a what

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you start a family and have your first baby 🙂

me, an asexual: A WHAT

my parents: our little girl is growing into a woman!
me, a nonbinary: a what

my parents: our boy is growing into a strong man
me, a nonbinary: a what

my parents: can you tell us the SI unit of power, equivalent to one joule per second, corresponding to the power in an electric circuit in which the potential difference is one volt and the current one ampere?
me: a watt

pinkiepony:

i-just-really-like-john-green:

pinkiepony:

I CAN’T TELL WHAT’S FUNNIER
I regret middle school

calm down there, ebony dark’ness dementia raven way.

WHO BROUGHT THIS BACK
WHO THE FUCK
BROUGHT BACK THE DIARY POST

arcanine-weenus:

icanonlyjunkrat:

bratmcnugget:

danipup:

locket-ship:

jedihighcouncil:

hardtostayaway:

jedihighcouncil:

Straight men who always joke about hating their girlfriend are so fucking weird like imagine having a girlfriend and not treasuring and loving her every day smh grow up

“treasuring” and “loving” your girlfriend will result in her quickly leave you. Girls HATE guys who treat them like goddesses. They view it as pathetic and weak.

I hate it when people say shit like this like we get it you’re an

yall hurt him so bad he deleted his Manchild Manifesto

Y’all missed the best fucking part

accio-shitpost:

hermione granger is the type of person who would post regular reminders to drink water and get some sleep

and ron weasley is the type of person to reply with a gif of himself slowly flipping her off, then drinking melted chocolate like it’s juice

lierdumoa:

hungwy:

corvuscrew:

hungwy:

hungwy:

hungwy:

Smash or pass: the sexy tuna guy from the starkist cans

Fuck marry kill: green giant, sexy tuna, mr clean

You are NOT allowed to kill mr clean

This is obvious, kill the sexy tuna because that’s just weird, fuck Mr clean because he’s ripped and you know you won’t catch anything, now here you might think marry Mr clean because he’ll clean the house, but no, his cleanliness standards would be unbearable.

marry the green giant, making you basically a pagan god through marriage, and he can probably make vegetables grow using magic and as a vegan I need that, dick probably too big to do anything with but like, pagan marriages can be poly I think

I want you to know you are so powerful to be able to begin with “this is obvious”

Vore the sexy tuna.

striikee:

emiliusthegreat:

redkrypto:

i’m screaming

I don’t think this woman is straight anymore.

Yall are missing the best fucking part

tubehuman:

thejogging:

Seven Syllables Of A Haiku Obscured By A Vegan Hotdog, 2014

Alt-Lit

***

this is the goddamn fucking height of literature and billiam spearmint or whatever his name was can eat it

3000s:

aromance:

3000s:

im kin with the dude in the next dorm over from mine who gets whipped with a belt every night at 7pm by his roommates

Hey please give me context…. p … please

ive been here 2 weeks and so far every night around 7pm i hear the sound of someone getting hit with a belt and a guy screaming in pain and yelling “stop”, this goes on for about 20 minutes then everyone goes quiet for pretty much the rest of the night

kaijuno:

Hi please watch this video of a man getting rekt by a 450hp fan

postllimit:

*bob the builder voice* can we fix it? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS WE CAN BITCH YAAAAAAS