thekidzbopversion:

i feel like we need to have a better line in the “gays who can drive” community between “gays who THINK they can drive” and “gays who can actually drive” because my girlfriend can actually drive and get this sexy intense look when shifting gears but my twink roommate is driving me rn and im terrified for my life he’s just singing along to panic at the disco with both his hands out the window and his eyes shut

@fantasyweed

divawithanunspoiledagenda:

yogurt-gun:

tin-pan-ali:

john mulaney’s dad looks about like how i imagined

‘you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair’

“God can’t hear you.”

“One black coffee”

I don’t know about yall, but I know too much about this man’s life for this to the the first time I’ve ever seen a picture of him

This is by far the greatest thing I’ve found in a junkyard.

majesty-intensifies:

regretproduced:

vracious:

metal-queer-solid:

So about a year ago me and my friend Nathan were walking around the “Pick-a-Part” in Clarksville Tennessee… We were searching for car badges and a spoiler to put on his trashy conversion van. While going through the lot we found what is probably the single greatest car to ever drive on any road in the world.

You are looking at… a Dora the Explorer themed gangster car… I’ve seen spongebob themed cars, Newport themed cars, sports team themed cars, but THIS.

trumps them all.

OH BUT IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER!!!!

You see… there has to be a reason that a car like this…

Would end up in the junkyard… SO me and Nathan did some looking around and tried to figure out why…

I still can’t believe the decals on this…. wait…

HOLD ON ONE FUCKING SECOND!

OH!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

YES! SOMEONE ACTUALLY GOT SHOT WHILE DRIVING THEIR DORA THE EXPLORER CAR IN CLARKSVILLE TENNESSEE!

And THAT, is the single greatest thing I’ve found in a junkyard to this day.

okay this is totally wild but i RECOGNIZE THIS CAR

and i actually have a picture of it from its functioning days – this is dated 2012 –

parked in front of an adult store!

Dark tumblr show me the history of this car

Show me the forbidden Carfax

noom171717:

krolia: let’s name him yorak

keith’s dad: krolia, the light of my life, the moon to my sun, the love of my life, the yee to my haw, what the fuck

msmcu:

i put spongebob music over clips of Tom fucking up by swearing or leaking info.

saucefactory:

marlonico:

nygmobblepot-der-pool:

Wade Wilson is just gonna befriend every metal guy in the Marvel universe until one of them fucks him and he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

@saucefactory Idk if youve seen this but.

one of ’em? our man wade wilson will not rest until all of them have fucked him

mortal-goddess:

turing-tested:

me, around any type of angel statue: oh fuck haha better not blink

me, a milisecond later: really? really? what fucking year is it? really? are you sure? reall

shit they fuckin got him

taddietango:

taddietango:

taddietango:

taddietango:

You ever have anything that’s the opposite of a headcannon? Like you hate it but you know it’s true?

Every literal six seconds, before doing anything, Bitty does that little tongue pop that all the twinks do

Bitty at a falcs event, surrounded by two dozen 30+ year olds in suits, talking about sports: *tchok*

Bitty sitting down for class and looking at a final that he didn’t study for: *tchok*

Bitty, without realizing, at the end of a rousing pregame pep talk: *tchok*

15 men and a Ford ready to chirp at any given moment: *tchoTCHtchoctchOKTCHocTCHOk*

shitty-check-please-aus:

managerford:

IM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING IMAGE

tater was never meant to be seen from the front

teabirdy:

therightnippleofarcher:

terrifying monstrosity: who could possibly love me when I am a terrifying monstrosity
me, stretched out on the table in front of them with a rose between my teeth: well

WELL THEN.