a rating of all the frogs in my neighbors’ frog-themed bathroom
very round and good! his face shows an emotion that i can’t quite describe. 10/10
here we have an arts and crafts frog! he has a nice figure but his lack of eyes is unsettling. 6/10
this is a truly excellent frog, he’s going places and he doesn’t care how long it takes. 12/10 for realism.
this frog looks like he’s having a cheeky little giggle at you for being in the bathroom for so long. something about him unsettles me. 2/10
this is the woodchime frog. he watches you smugly. i don’t like how he’s watching me, 5/10 because he’s kinda cute anyway
i hate it. 0/10
this fellow is perched right next to the toilet. one eye stares directly at your back, while the other looks at the wall. 6/10 good frog shape but still very unsettling
a truly excellent pair of comrades! double frog points 20/10
ok if yall have never seen a jenna marbles/julien solomita video i am begging you to PLEASE watch this because it’s literally the most incredible thing you will ever watch in your life
– Everyone is dressed in traditional costuming, but the script is in modern English.
– “Romeo, Romeo, why the FUCK did you have to be ROMEO?”
– Juliet talks like a rich white valley girl and wears a flower crown.
– She keeps taking inappropriately timed selfies and posting them on instagram.
– Tybalt won’t stop talking about his crossfit regime.
– Romeo only listens to My Chemical Romance.
– Mercutio’s Queen Mab speech is followed by Benvolio asking “Are you high right now?” (He is)
– Mercutio dabs on stage. Unironically. More than once.
– When the boys are all catcalling Nurse it’s super cringy.
– instead of “a sail! A sail!” You get “Hey Fatass!” “Fatass? I just see a boat!” “Weigh anchor! You’re gonna break the docks, Fatass!”
– Tybalt also dabs on stage, exactly twice.
– The first time is awful and his friends have to correct him.
– Tybalt dabs at Mercutio and Mercutio responds by doing a backflip and ending in a dab.
– The Tybalt/Mercutio fight is an absolutely serious dancebattle with no weapons.
– Mercutio still dies anyway.
– Tybalt tries to dance battle Romeo too, but Romeo keeps taking it too seriously and not dancing back.
– This is because Romeo only knows how to ballroom dance.
– Paris wears a trillby and calls it a fedora.
– Juliet Snapchats her own death.
– Romeo doesn’t have Snapchat.
Norse mythology fails to convey the sense of terror that must have hung over Asgard every time Loki was gone for longer than eight months and three weeks
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