“what was it like 400 years ago?” fuck if i know. i don’t even remember what it was like last week.
catch me procrastinating basic tasks for twenty times longer
“oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to get around to fixing that window, but I’ve just been so busy, y’know?”
“you’ve lived here since 1740″
MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Walking through a museum and seeing some old things of yours and just going “FUCK. FUCK GOD DAMN IT, I’ve been looking for this forEVER” and then trying to haggle with the curator to get your shit back
ahhh now I understand why Jeff Goldblum is like that
I just feel like if you buy Alexa or echo or any of those other Amazon home devices that you deserve whatever you get if it decides to start laughing in the middle of the night you did that to yourself nobody told you to buy a semi-sentient electronic you did that it’s your fault
My father bought an Alexa and I asked him why and he told me it’s because he wants the government to hear how violently anarchist he is and big mood. He sits in front of the Alexa sometimes and goes “Alexa down with capitalism” or “Alexa I’m going to eat the rich”
Note that this is the only time he plugs it in. He saved up for so long to buy this. He saved for so long.
To everyone going “oh no! Adam thinks Shiro’s probably dead”
Are you ACTUALLY trying to tell me that Sam Holt, after kissing his wife and explaining where their children are, did not PROMPTLY run to the Garrison to be like “oooohhhhh shit you nerds are not gonna believe this”, and NOT stop by Adam’s office?
You don’t think he crashed in there like:
“HeyHEYhey guess who’s alive bitch?! ME! But also your man! He’s leading a rebellion with your adopted son, got a sick ass robot arm and oh…Adam, oh boy…. *deep inhale* he be looking fiiiiiiiine~”
“Oh! Oh… actually…We broke up”
“Well you’re gonna un-fuck that when you see his bobbies”
I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC
OMG SAME FOR BOTH
I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row
when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it
later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take
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