justin absolutely loses his shit over travis’ leg lamp
i fucking love it when justin laughs so hard he goes incoherent
Travis: I tell you what, here’s the thing, I remember being
in college and having a dorm room. And you wanna have that ‘thing’, I had a leg
lamp from the copywritten holiday classic, ‘Holiday
Story’. No, ’Holiday Tale’? ’Boy and His Gun’! and-
Griffin: ’Persnickety
Dad’!
[Laughter]
Justin: ‘Terror
Furnace’!
G: ‘Turkey
Anticipation’!
T: ‘Turkey Dogs’! And I remember watching [crosstalk] ‘Turkey Dogs’
J: [crosstalk] ’Chocolate
Milk Disappointment.’
[laughter]
J: ‘Code Ring
Challenge.’
T: ‘Santa Kick’!
J: ‘Santa Kick’!
T: And from ‘Santa
Kick’ I had a leg lamp-
G: ‘EYEBALL GUNSHOT
WOUND.’
J: You were watching ‘Frozen
Tongue’.
T: So I was watching ’Frozen Tongue Flagpole Man’, and- so,
I had the leg lamp in my window in college so people would come by and be like
‘Hey is that your lamp?’. And that’s happened! People would count and in- [mumbles
quickly] went up to my floor, and that was my thing. That was my ‘in’
G: And then you’d have sex with them.
T: Well at the very least I’ve found a lifelong-
J: Thirty dollars!
[Giggling]
J: That was the code! T- [airy laughter] To activate Travis
McElroy, college gigolo! [incredibly high pitched laugh] ʸᵒᵘ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵃˢᵏ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʰᶦˢ
ᶫᵉᵍ ᶫᵃᵐᵖ! [unintelligible] [high pitched laughter]
T: It’s a weird set up, but it’s how
it worked! You could use your dolls in a similar fashion. Perhaps not to the
same ends my brother has proposed.
G: Sure.
[Justin laughs]
T: Justin’s gonna be out of commission
for the next ten minutes
J: [higher than his usual speaking
voice] Did you know if you have ghosts in your dorm room in college, ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵗʳᵃᶦᵍʰᵗ ᴬˢ! [laughs]
G: That’s true!
J: [even higher] That’s true!
G: That’s the first true thing you’ve
said so far. Other things ghosts can do for you; they can help you fake vape
tricks! Tears are streaming down Justin’s face!
J: [still very high pitched] That was
a funny one! I’m now laughing at both!
[Travis laughs loudly and everyone
else joins in]
G: This is the first thing they’re
seeing of the show!
travis: daddy, what kind of music do you play when you’re getting busy? justin: [yelling] MY HEADPHONES ARE OFF! dad mcelroy: well, travis– justin: i’m out of the goddamn room! dad mcelroy: it depends on what you’re, uh– justin: OUT! dad mcelroy: what you want to accomplish. if you want to extend the experience– travis: uh-huh? griffin: oh, no. justin: [yelling in the background] you fucking stop that on my show – i built an empire, you will not destroy it! travis: now, what if you’re trying to build a certain sexy atmosphere, daddy? what– griffin: [losing it] OH GOD, don’t say daddy. if you’re gonna explore this goof, don’t say daddy. justin: travis and dad can go on this venture. i’m OUT! dad mcelroy: [citing several musicians, including barry white] justin: [wordless yelling in the background] travis: now, what if you’re actually having sex with barry white? dad mcelroy: you don’t actually do it with barry white. justin: he’s DEAD! like ME! dad mcelroy: you let him play in the background. yeah. ‘cause that would be a little creepy. justin: [crying] dad mcelroy: [says the word “climax”] griffin and justin: NO! GOD! justin: i’m going out the window! this is a nightmare! dad mcelroy: well, there is a band called climax. there was also a climax blues band. travis: i see. justin: there’s a– there’s a band called jefferson airplane and i wish they would hit me right now and kill me in their propellers. i wanna die. (…) justin: you’ve never done it. it’s never happened. dad mcelroy: obviously, i’ve done it three times. i had to – where would you have come from? justin: a star put a crystal under a cabbage leaf and i appeared! I’M A GIFT!
this is one of the funniest moments in the entire podcast
Griffin:[playing the guitar] ♪ I made a Photoshop with me
And my best friend Micheal Jordan [Justin laughs]
Actually, it was me and Micheal Jordan and the cast of Space Jam
It was called Me and Space Jam ♪
I gotta do another verse!
Justin:[laughing] It’s the verse where you actually talk about the shit!
Griffin: Didn’t even mention the thing! Alright, here we go.
♪ I took Me and Space Jam
And I turned it into a website [Travis and Justin laugh]
Using Media Labs and site grinder technology
Visit it, visit it, visit it
At GriffinSpaceJam
Dot com ♪ [Travis and Justin laugh-cry]
Justin:[stammering, laugh-crying] F-for fear of–
Griffin: That was the worst!
Justin:[holding back laughter] For fear of dwelling too long in the money zone–
Griffin: I have done so many–
Justin:: [laugh-crying] Griffin, what exactly is the pur- what is the website for? What’re you doing there? At a Space Jam website?
Travis:[also laugh-crying] Oh, is it just just for your Space Jam fanfiction?
Justin: “Here’s a story about me, and Micheal Jordan [unintelligible]”
[Griffin and Travis laugh]
Griffin: Listen, I got on a hot streak and was trying to find the exit off of that beautiful highway, and I missed it, and I had to keep going on the Micheal Jordan Express.
tumblr backup 