theelvenkingshalls:

mistergandalf:

mistergandalf:

one of my favorite lotr facts is that gondorians speak sindarin as a first language and yet when faramir was talking to frodo and sam about cirith ungol he was like “we don’t know what’s in there.” like faramir. cirith ungol is sindarin for “pass of the spider.” do the math

some of my favorite tags on this post

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Don’t forget that Frodo also speaks Sindarin, which makes this even worse.

Faramir: Hey, don’t go up the Spider Stairs.

Frodo: Why? What’s up the Spider Stairs?

Faramir: We don’t know, Frodo. We just don’t know.

fandomearth:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

Boromir lives AU where instead of being around for the events of Two Towers and ROTK he just kind of shows up in Minas Tirith after the Ring is destroyed all bloody & bedraggled like ‘you GUYS i had to swim all the way back what the hELL’

Aragorn: *watching Boromir’s funeral boat drift away* you checked for a pulse right Legolas

Legolas, who definitely does not know how human pulses work: sure did!!

*later*

Aragorn: LEGOLAS I TOLD YOU TO CHECK FOR A PULSE

Legolas: I did!

Aragorn: …..

Legolas: ….

Boromir: …..

Gimli: …..

Legolas: oh you meant check that he DIDN’T have one?

This is the only version of LOTR that I accept now

fallenangelvictorious:

penny-anna:

stevviefox:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

One of my fav things about Gandalf is, he can & canonically does Full Name hobbits when he’s angry like he’s their mum or something

important follow up Qs:

1) does it frustrate Gandalf that he can’t do this to Bilbo & Frodo with the same impact bcos they don’t have nicknames

2) does he do it to non hobbits

Gandalf, in the distance: ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN

Aragorn: oh shit I’m in trouble

I think when Gandalf is pissed with Hobbits he reverts to the extremely formal  Mister Baggins!

you’ve cracked it, that’s absolutely what he does

you know how mad he is based on how far back into your lineage he goes, consider:

Mild: Meriadoc Brandybuck! (last name only, you’ll probably live)

Mad: ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN! (now your ancestors are involved, bad)

Murderous: THORIN, SON OF THRÁIN, SON OF THRÓR! (you are maybe about to meet your ancestors, via Gandalf… and not glorious battle)