Headcanon: I can muster a cogent argument for why it would make more sense or make for a better story if this were the case
Heartcanon: I don’t have a particular rationale for why this ought to be the case, I just like to imagine it’s true because it gives me the warm fuzzies
Gutcanon: it’s not that I actively want this to be the case – it just unaccountably feels like it should be
Junkcanon: I like to imagine it’s true because it gives me the other kind of warm fuzzies
Spleencanon: I insist that this is the case specifically to spite the author, because, like, fuck you, sir or madam
this is incredibly specific but i’d imagine jack telling shitty about the first time he kissed bitty would play out EXACTLY like in the fifth harry potter book when harry tells ron he kissed cho chang
Imagine: Humans accidentally insulting aliens using common idioms that don’t make sense when you don’t know they’re figures of speech
—
Human: Penny for your thoughts?
Alien: You taught me about currency, have I forgotten the value of “penny”? Do you really think my thougts are worth so little? I thought you liked conversing with me!
Human: Wait, hold on
—
Human: We can kill two birds with one stone if we-
Alien: I’ve told you time and again my people are primarily pacifists, and herbivorous regardless. Why would you suggest such an activity?
Human: No, wait, it was just a-
Alien: I will have no part of it, and this nonsequitor is irrelevant to our conversation. Please strike birds on your own time.
—
Human: So is there a method to your madness here?
Alien: *offended* Are you questioning my sanity?
Human: I was just-
Alien: Because that’s difficult to take from a being with the IQ of a gleesnork.
Human: I don’t know what that is but fuck you too
—
Human 1: *talking to someone about alien, sees alien approaching* Ah, speak of the devil and he shall appear!
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