jack used to come home from school like “i have no friends :(“ and so his mom n dad were his besties but then when he was in like third grade they went and picked him up early together and all the kids in the class were like “where’s jack going!! bye jack have fun at the dentist don’t forget your pokemon cards tm!!!!!!!!” and bob is like Jack You Fool…..
Let Bitty be a frat bro who makes pizza rolls and uses inferior baking products!!!
LET BITTY EAT SUPERMARKET PIE SOMETIMES
There’s nothing quite like a breakfast of reheated store-bought cinnamon rolls and microwave bacon.
There’s also nothing like having your bro Larissa hug you from behind on a shitty day and shove something that feels like a boner into your butt, making you moan theatrically, “I can tell you’re happy to see me,” and then what she pulls out of her hoodie is a roll of Pilsbury cookie dough and two spoons. So you throw your arms around her and exclaim, “And I’m happy to see you too!” and go hide out in your room and eat it raw.
Bitty can testify to this. It’s one of his Top Ten Samwell Memories.
ALSO when Bitty and Lardo go to McDonalds with Jack after they’ve been drinking (did he tag along because he was hungry, or was he babysitting their drunk asses like an anxious sheepdog?) and spill their Chicken McNuggets on the sidewalk outside, they carefully pick them all up, dust them off, notice Jack has disappeared, and sit down on the curb to eat them. When he comes back out with a box of new, unspoiled chicken nuggets, they praise him soundly. However, they do not stop eating the street nuggets.
(The person who gave me this headcanon KNOWS WHO THEY ARE)
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