Tag: humans are weird

seraphimalune:

curlicuecal:

picsthatmakeyougohmm:

hmmm

Whenever someone posits that people are ‘lazy’ I’m reminded of the fact that if you leave humans in a room with some blocks and no instructions they will literally make up their own tasks to carry out because humans just fuckin love having stuff to do and objectives to work towards

In one of my psych courses we learned about a study where a person was left in a room with nothing but a box that would SHOCK THEM painfully if they touched it. After awhile, everyone touched the box and got shocked to hell and back. Now, this isn’t that abnormal. What’s abnormal is that everyone then sat there for a few minutes and then TOUCHED THE BOX AGAIN. And got shocked AGAIN! Moral of the story: People fucking hate being bored. They would rather be in IMMENSE PAIN than be bored.

thylaforever:

anachronic-cobra:

Imagine: Humans accidentally insulting aliens using common idioms that don’t make sense when you don’t know they’re figures of speech

—

Human: Penny for your thoughts?

Alien: You taught me about currency, have I forgotten the value of “penny”? Do you really think my thougts are worth so little? I thought you liked conversing with me!

Human: Wait, hold on

—

Human: We can kill two birds with one stone if we-

Alien: I’ve told you time and again my people are primarily pacifists, and herbivorous regardless. Why would you suggest such an activity?

Human: No, wait, it was just a-

Alien: I will have no part of it, and this nonsequitor is irrelevant to our conversation. Please strike birds on your own time.

—

Human: So is there a method to your madness here?

Alien: *offended* Are you questioning my sanity?

Human: I was just-

Alien: Because that’s difficult to take from a being with the IQ of a gleesnork.

Human: I don’t know what that is but fuck you too

—

Human 1: *talking to someone about alien, sees alien approaching* Ah, speak of the devil and he shall appear!

Alien: *hurt* I thought… you liked my company?

Human 2: …what?

Human 1: *realizing* OH WAIT NO I’M SORRY

—

Human: See you later, alligator!

Reptilian alien: How fucking dare you

Jim @Spock

except for the last one: Jim @the Gorn

clairidryl:

gothiclolitapl:

kaylapocalypse:

envymyblackness:

hufflepuffskeepmovingforward:

kaijutegu:

proteusolm:

There’s something really terrifying about the concept of being pursued by something that can only walk slowly after. Just slooowly following. You can chill for a while if you get far enough away but it’s still coming.

That’s called “persistence hunting” and it’s how humans hunted all sorts of megafauna to extinction, as well as what let our species become so disperse and so numerous. Our existence is a horror story told from the monster’s perspective.

So you’re telling me zombie is absolutely a valid career path

Watch the movie on Netflix called “ It Follows” lol

Basically our hunting super power is that we are really smart, good at tools and can walk/run forever. 

My roommate Kait runs 20 miles 4 times a week.
Horses can only travel about 32 miles a day.

If my roommate ran 20 miles twice in one day (possible if she does one in the morning and one in the afternoon) she would out travel a horse.

 She is not FASTER than a horse, but if a horse was walking away from her for 8 solid hours,  Kait could catch up to it.  She could probably also walk after it for an additional 5-10 miles after the run and then stab it when it got too tired to go on.

But kait’s athletic. 

 I, on the other hand, am a fatty fat who weighs 210 and never exercises ever.

I once, completely spontaneously because i had no money for the train, walked 17 miles in the winter from one end of Chicago to the other. I had also not eaten and was wearing a backpack. It took me 3 hours, but I accomplished it with ease. If i wasn’t a chub goddess, and had eaten and it was summer and I wasn’t wearing a backpack with a laptop in it, imagine how far and fast I could have gone. 

Now. Horses can only sustain a run for about 15 miles ( at 8-10mph it takes them a little over an hour).

If my fat ass was walking towards a horse for 3 hours and it was literally running away from me. It would become exhausted after 15 miles and unless it can recover completely in 2 hours for another lengthy sprint, I can reasonably catch up to it and stab it. (not that i would ever stab a horse. horses are terrifying and should be regarded with suspicion, respect and fear)

The longest run ever was 350 miles over 80 hours without sleep.

We are endurance monsters. 

humans terrify me

“Our existence is a horror story told from the monsters perspective” is one of the coolest and most terrifying sentences I’ve ever thought about