Tag: hp

lbibliophile:

Death comes for Minerva McGonagall.

It comes for her, as it came for her husband, so many years ago.
It comes for her, as it came for her Headmaster, the price of his ambition.
It comes for her, as it came for far too many of her friends and students, in one war then another.

Death comes for her.

Minerva McGonagall Looks at Death, and raises an eyebrow.

Death pauses, then nods and backs away.
“We’ll call this number three then, shall we?”

She smiles as she turns back to her paperwork.
There is a reason her animagus form is a cat.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

eugostoderaposas:

I cannot believe that Hermione did not take advantage of that Rita skeeter’  article that said she was dating harry. I would be like  HELL YES BITCHES I FUCKED THE BOY WHO LIVED, THE BOY WHO LIVED IS MY FUCKING SEX TOY! GUESS WHAT? HE ALSO DID DRACO MALFOY, 70% OF THE GRYFFINDOR HOUSE, YOUR SISTER, AND YOU ARE THE NEXT!

she could ask their friends to spread they also fucked harry potter to different prophet’ reporters until gets so ridiculous that it lost all credibility.

“Yes, I did the potter” -Viktor Krum

“Of course, Harry is so lovely” – Fleur Delacour                                           

“I showed to him some nice stuff in the bath” – Cedric Digory (does not like to lie)

“He and Malfoy are often at each other” -Severus Snape and the entire Slytherin house

“At the same time” – Fred and George Weasley

“Harry truly is amazing, he is always gentle with us.” – Luna Lovegood with Neville Longbottom hiding behind her, nodding, mortified.

“Let’s just say that he can ride more than just a broom”- Oliver wood
“Let’s just say that he being able to catch the snitch with his mouth was not a coincidence” – Ginerva Weasley. 

“He made us gay” – Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.

Harry does not stop glaring at everyone for the entire school year, meanwhile Ron literally cannot stop laughing

At the end of the year Dumbeldore awards Gryffindor an additional five hundred house points for Harry’s achievements at bedding the entire student body, the other teachers all have their heads in their hands they are working in a ridiculous place of ridiculous people

magic-owl:

roachpatrol:

yourfictionmyreality:

yisaldifferentfromotherknights:

stavvers:

I’ve just come to the realisation that Hermione Granger probably memory charmed her parents and packed them off to Australia long before she told Harry and Ron she’d done it at the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

She literally never goes home from Goblet of Fire onwards, spending her summers with the boys instead. In GoF she’s remarkably blase about her teeth, something her dentist parents would have noticed and felt hurt about. 

If I were to guess, I’d say she probably did it after the wizarding world cup when she’d seen exactly how the wizarding world treats muggles and decided not to let that happen to her folks. Hermione knows which way the wind is blowing and gets in early. She’d be more than capable of doing it. 

…Oh my God.

hermione is fucking ruthless and i will fight anyone who tells me otherwise

that was her “negative” gryffindor trait

was she incredibly brave and courageous and loyal? yes

but she was also vicious and violent and trapped a woman as a beetle in a jar for over a year because she pissed her off

hermione granger looked at the world, and looked at her magic, and looked at everyone else’s magic, and seemed to come to the conclusion that reality had better shut the fuck up and behave itself or she’d make it. 

of all the kids, i think she’s dumbledore’s successor, not harry. 

See this is why I don’t like it when people try and pass her off as this flawless pure sweet angel. Like no, she’s emotional, loud, angry, brash, and vindictive, and she’s absolutely awesome just like that. Don’t woobify her.

zombikki:

drarry-queen:

dizpotter:

sasstronauuut:

thatcouldhavegoneworse:

thatwriterchickyouknow:

septemregnasansae:

no but bi harry deliberately fucking with ron like they’re at christmas dinner or w/e and harry just goes “you know ron i’m in love with your sister and everything but if bill was single…goddamn. i’d go there”

bill winks across the table at harry

ron screams

“GODDAMN IT YOU CAN’T TAKE ALL MY SIBLINGS, HARRY.”

“Don’t worry, Ron, you can keep Percy.”

I FUKCGIN PISSED MYSELF

Oh God…and Harry flirting shamelessly with Fred and George and them flirting back just to piss Ron off…..I need it

Ron wakes up to harry wearing a different Weasleys sweater every morning

bless this post

Transfiguration Class

stephrc79:

McGonagall: now class, what is the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?

Sirius: *raises hand*

McGongall: yes Mr. Black?

Sirius: an animagus has better hair

Remus: *raises hand* well werewolves are taller

Remus: generally speaking

Sirius: *raises hand* WELL animagi have better bodies!

James: *raises hand* I second that and I also second that they have better hair

Remus: *raises hand* well werewolves don’t have the time or energy to style their hair for 20 minutes, particularly around the full moon!

Peter: *raises hand* plus, werewolves don’t sing obnoxiously in the shower

Class:……

Sirius: animagi are sexier

James: yeah!

McGonagall: …..while I appreciate the compliments, those were not the answers I was looking for

I would never say, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. That is not true. My wife is a bitch and I like her So. Much. She is a dynamite five-foot muggleborn bitch and she’s the best. When my wife walks down the street, she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her in any situation. She’s my hero.

James Potter