Holt: Detective Peralta, how on earth did you manage to catch that criminal?
Jake: Well thank ya for askin’, I used the Bittenbinder method. When I saw the perp approachin’, I chewed up a tab of Alka-Seltzer I carry with me at all times. This created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like I had rabies. Now I’ve thrown him off his rhythm-
When gay marriage was legalized, we weren’t sure if or when it was going to be struck down so speed was of the essence.
when people say that Brooklyn 99 doesn’t make jokes about Holt being gay… it does. it just doesn’t make homophobic jokes, it makes jokes like this that are actually funny.
my favorite thing about brooklyn 99 is that my favorite character is literally whichever character happens to be speaking at any given moment they’re all so good
Captain? I don’t think so. I want you, guys, to think of me as one of the boys, so tonight I’ll be swapping out my Captain’s hat for my Kangol hat. Call me Raymond.
tumblr backup 