Steve Rogers uses voice to text to send texts and formats them like a telegram
HEY BUCK STOP SAM AND I ARE OUT SHOPPING STOP WANT US TO PICK UP SOME TAKEOUT STOP
Steve rogers fully understands that this is not the correct way to text. He just likes the absolute outrage it causes every time someone receives a text from him and wants to see how many times he can make the same people explain texting to him until they realize. Sam is currently at 14 times, beating out tony who’s at nine. Twice now shuri has facetimed him after reading bucky’s texts. He’s also managed to convince thor that this is the Earth Way to text and it’s great
I need to talk about the fact that Bucky’s still got his right hand 100% free and could be punching Spider Man into next Tuesday already. But he still stood frozen, looking shocked as all fucks and lemme tell you right now that that was not because someone’s managed to block his metal fist because lbr the metal arm was never unstoppable before, especially when super-enhanced/-equipped people are involved – so basically he doesn’t take that punch cus he’s actually just now able to hear the other guy’s voice and it clicks that this is just a fucking k i d
out of all the avengers, who you think lay the best pipe? my money is on thor
Captain America dick trash cause he be like “I don’t wanna hurt you when you ask him to slap your ass.
Iron man too busy stroking only for himself. He nuttin first.
Hulk got all that dick and no stroke so it’s trash and it hurt
Dr strange get off on lettin you peg him so technically you layin down the best pipe technically
War machine got medium dick. It is what it is.
Tchalla trynna make love to you when you’re trynna get your back blown. I mean it’s cute and it’s nice but you not trynna Be loved
Vision and falcon prematurely ejaculated and said it doesn’t usually happen but it do
Bucky stealin money out your purse while he hitting it and say he don’t remember doin it and you let him fuck again
Thor layin down that let me cook you biscuits and greens dick. Y’all fucking all through the house and he make you want to give him the keys to your crib and co-sign your pussy to him.
I mean it’s a no brainer
What…..the…fuck
I thought they meant manual labor I was not prepared for the rest
– T’Challa would def bone you down and make love to you at the same time. He’s doing kinky shit but still kissing you on the lips and cuddling afterwards.
– Steve is def a golden boy in the streets and a daddy in the sheets. I don’t make the rules (have you seen his beard in IW? Point made)
Your boy Steve was born in the 1920’s. There’s no chance he is anything but missionary with the lights off. He’s dry toast and whole milk. My man’s first erection came when a bathing suit was a burlap sack. If you say the word nipple he might blow his load.
The Avengers are a team of Witches and Wizards fighting against the Dark Lord Thanos.
Tony is the mad Wizarding inventor who is a genius with a wand. Bruce is a part-time healer, full-time shape-shifting werewolf. Clint and Natasha are Unspeakables. Thor is a Quidditch beater. And Auror Steve has one hell of a shield charm.
(Oh, and Loki is a Death Eater, which no one is surprised about)
Everyone in Infinity Wars gonna be complaining about how hard these last few years have been for them until Thor rolls up with no hair, no hammer, and one eye.
Don’t forget “my planet had to be destroyed to keep my sister from killing like the whole universe so now me and all my people are refugees. But hey, Loki’s back, that’s good news!”
Peter(raises his hand in the back): “…My homecoming date‘s dad turned out to be my arch nemesis and a building fell on me!“
Thor (smiles and gives a thumbs-up): “Good for you! (aside, to Tony)…Who is that person? Do we know him or did he just show up?”
T’Challa: My dad died, too.
Thor: I apologize for your loss, I know how it feels
Thor: (To Steve) Who is that handsome man dressed like a kitten?
Starlord: My dad turned out to be this giant, planet eating god and tried to kill me so I had to kill him.
Thor: These things happen sometimes.
Thor: (to Banner) Are we just picking up strangers with sad family stories or…?
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