Bach: (terrible singing) “The Bread of God Is Bread…He Will Bring Us Bread… No one but the one from Jericho… Can bring bread to bread…
Schumann: “I’ll keep all my emotions right here (points to heart), and then one day I’ll die!”
Mozart: Someone came out of a room holding like an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said “Hey is this whiskey or perfume?” And apparently I drank all of it and said “It’s perfume.” And it was.
Bernstein: “I don’t know if my dad was discouraging me from being gay or encouraging me to be a classical composer.”
Shostakovich: “I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting.”
Chopin: “I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars”
Beethoven: “I have had a very long day… I am very small… and I have no money so you can imagine the kind of stress I am under”
Mahler: “I try to stay optimistic, even though I must admit, things are getting pretty sticky.”
Haydn: “He said “Ah too old to be a duckling” as if to say “My duckling days are behind me. Mary, don’t you see. I am a duck now.”
Reich: (What’s New Pussycat plays 21 times in a row)
Tchaikovsky: “You know I’m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time and I have no outlet for it!”
some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:
– someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end – the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean – the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version – the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other – the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood – the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic – the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ – the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay – the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ – the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea – the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. – the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) – the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ – the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO
Mamoudou Gassama, a 22-year old Black man from Mali, without hesitation
scaled four stories of a Paris building to save a toddler facing certain death. Mamoudou is an undocumented immigrant. He knew getting caught would mean deportation.
But instead, France has a new hero. President Macron thanked him, granted him French citizenship plus a job at the French fire brigade.
That he responded to a 10-minute bit mocking him with “it means ‘barrel-maker,’ an honorable profession” makes me believe that Mullaney was 98 to 100% accurate.
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