A long time ago I took a course on the sociology of marriage and my professor said “With compromise, you both lose. As a couple, you must collaborate on the best possible outcome.” Ever since, I never prioritize compromise in a relationship, only collaboration.
this seems like a great concept and all but. what does it actually mean?
Compromise is typically thought of as a 50/50 split amongst partner’s needs. They’re both left partially unsatisfied, but this dissatisfaction is deemed acceptable because it is ‘equal.’ However, with additional effort, many problems may be solved through collaboration; keywords: additional effort.
In collaborating, one may try to make the conflict more complex in order to expand the possible positive outcomes. This requires trust in both parties, empathy, and consideration for one another’s needs.
The objective should shift from getting what you want and ‘keeping things quiet’ to making sure your partner feels heard and considered (as they should do with you). Essentially, you must trust that your partner has your happiness in mind, and you must have theirs, instead of fighting for your own best interest.
For further explanation, Google “compromise vs collaboration.”
Despite the fact that I’m in a reasonably stable situation, my brain is a creature of anxiety. The urge to Do All The Things is frankly overwhelming, leading to the need for breaks, sometimes without doing anything, but when I am Doing None Of The Things, the result is stress nightmares.
The apparently solution is One Adult Thing A Day.
I only need to do one. I did bank stuff today, so I can stop. I revised my application for another job, touched up my general resume, and will probably start working on the cover letter tonight, but I am allowed to stop now. I will be doing Bonus Adulting in the form of cooking, but even that is optional, because that’s what all the oatmeal is for.
You probably also don’t need to know that yes, all forms of digital communication constitute “writing things down” to one degree or another. Some would need to be caught in the moment, more than you would think can be checked any time
life is rough but consider how lucky we are that 2012 loki fangirl culture & 2012 ‘stalking and filming the peter pan face character at disneyland’ culture didn’t occur coterminously with the disneyland Loki being a hot dude. think of the storm we’ve missed, and be grateful.
this is a man who would have been ripped to shreds by the same internet culture that was at the time really down to fuck the Onceler. look at his eyebrows. he wouldn’t have stood a goddamn chance.
