i’m not kidding and i’m not being mean i’m watching these videos of people trying to cut like, carrots, and they’re using butcher knives, and i just… I cook a lot and I don’t own a butcher knife, I’ve never had one, I’ve never needed one. I don’t cleave through… bone like. please
paring knife: it’s good for small cuts. deseeding a jalapeno, cutting up strawberries.
utility knife: allegedly these make cutting tomatoes easier. i don’t actually find cutting tomatoes difficult, so i don’t know. i use it mostly for trimming meat.
santoku knife: this is essentially a chef’s knife with a straight blade. it’s good for veggies.
chef’s knife: i use a chef’s knife for almost everything. it can chop a head of romaine and it can cut a chicken breast in half. whatever. just don’t use it for tiny shit.
slicing knife: good for slicing cooked meats
bread knife: bread
it’s also gay.
and here’s a cutting board with a knife sharpener. keeping your knives sharp is a good idea because cuts from dull knives are harder to treat, are more likely to get infected, and are more painful over time. cuts happen but you can reduce your risks
Who wants to get me some knives?
Gay knives save lives
we really getting sponsored posts for knives now huh
Also, please use sharp knives. If you cut yourself worth a sharp knife, it’s a clean cut and easy to take care of. If you cut yourself with a dull knife, it tears your skin, leaving you more at risk for infection and increases the need for stitches.
…hey Harry Potter fans, we’re all in agreement that Dumbledore brought the Philosopher’s Stone to Hogwarts in Harry’s first year as a test to see whether Voldemort was paying attention and what sort of state he was in, now that Dumbledore’s chosen champion was old enough to hold a wand, right?
Like, Harry learns what magic is and it’s time to start moving towards the full and final destruction of Tom Riddle Junior, so Dumbledore has a chat with his long-time alchemy friend who’s been keeping this thing safe for literally six centuries straight, and ‘borrows’ the easiest source of immortality he can find as bait for a trap to lure Voldemort out into the open so Dumbledore can get the lay of the land to prep for the next seven years. This is canon, right?
Yes, this is canon. In none of the other books is the climactic array of trials set up as a video-game dungeon perfectly tailored to the skillsets of three specific children. Hermione and Ron are drafted into this war quickly.
Draco gets so much shit for trying to kill Dumbledore but honestly who wouldn’t
Rachel: uh, and- and it’s something that I’ve noticed like, when I saw these three things about like- empathy, positivity, and strong emotional connections, it kinda helped me highlight… which components were missing from my previous relationships and kind of-
Griffin: you scared the living- the ever living fucking- mother fucking-
Rachel: *laughing*
Griffin: -fucking shit out of me and I shit my pants and almost died.
Rachel: *still laughing*
Griffin: are you kidding me? Doing a sentence like that? On a podcast? I almost shit my fucking butt off- are you kidding me? “It helped me realize something-“ this is our last episode of Wonderful!- are you kidding me?
Rachel: *laughing* I’m sorry
Griffin: Jesus Christ-
Rachel: *still laughing* helped me realize what was missing from my previous relationships-
Griffin: okay, but you understand that you sent shockwaves through the whole- like people were writing Facebook posts like, “WHAT THE FU- oh.”
Rachel: why would I bring you to this podcast to tear you-
Griffin: i don’t know! Last week you brought our sexual relations- our sexual conquest into the thing, I thought that “maybe Rachel is doing a bold new style of podcasting”
Rachel: *laughing* Griffin, I’m taking this opportunity…
Griffin: yeah, wowzers
Rachel: no, I was gonna say that it makes me realize why ours works so well
Griffin: oh, thank God
Rachel: ‘cause we are very empathetic with each other, we do compliment each other often-
Griffin: yeah
Rachel: and-
Griffin: sex power is off the charts
Rachel: -we’re positive
Griffin: yeah, we can’t even quantify our sex power
Rachel: yeahh, sex power
Griffin: blew up the bedroom yesterday
Rachel: ah, jeez
Griffin: a wave of super sonic force shot out of my body like I was-
Rachel: well you don’t have to tell out listeners, they probably felt it
Griffin: oh, no, apparently that’s what we do on this show, is tell them about my super sonic sex energy like Blanka from Street Fighter- shooting out of my body like electricity, tearing off the wall paper
Rachel: i don’t know who Blanka is
Griffin: that’s okay, he’s a big green monster from Street Fighter. He’s cool. He does this power where he crouches down and shoots electricity out of his body and like, y’know, E. Honda tries to punch him but gets a big shock
Rachel: you with your sex power, you’re more like Sheet Fighter
listen i kno we all have a giggle at people from ye olden times for believing in the four humors and bloodletting and shit like that but there are adults in this year of our lord 2018 who deadass believe there are Toxins in their body that can be released by drinking juice
Don’t put it back, its an aggressive invasive species
Christ
That’s a lot of nuggets right there
can u imagine going noodlin and this chomps down on you oh my god
Duuuuude!! Catfish grow to the amount of food there is which means the river these guys came from must be plentiful as fuck, or it’s eating the native species. PSA: do NOT catch and release catfish. The fuckers will screw with the rivers ecosystem if they’re not native to the area. These are the sort of size fish that WILL have a go at eating people as well, they will probs chock but yeah. Catfish have little to no sight, since they’re bottom feeders they scout for food mostly using their feelers, and just swallow whatever they think can fit in their mouths.
I watch a lot of Jeremy Wades River Monsters when I’m bored. The shit he films is ridiculous and I love it.
Edit: Cat fish are also cannibals if there’s no other food source.
though looking at the comments the folks who live in the red part think this is why the electoral college has got to stay. because they like getting 3.5 votes per capita.
Tyranny of the few is a pretty sweet deal if you belong to the few.
“Why should the coast’s vote count more?” BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE THE PEOPLE ARE AND THIS IS SUPPOSEDLY A DEMOCRACY.
1. Don’t use the president’s surname. Refer to it as the GOP Administration.
2. Remember this is a regime. He is not acting alone.
3. Do not argue with those who support him. It doesn’t work.
4. Focus on his policies, not his orange-ness or mental state.
5. Keep your message positive. They want the country to be angry and fearful because this is the soil from which their policies grow.
6. No more helpless or hopeless talk.
7. Support artists and the arts.
8. Be careful not to spread fake news – check it out first before sharing or posting.
9. Take care of yourselves.
10. RESIST.
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Re: Number 8 – I saw something very helpful the other day that says, “Any headline that gives you a strong burst of emotion, take five minutes to fact-check it before you pass it on.”
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