REVIEWS FOR VENOM JUST CAME IN AND IT’S A 28% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!!!! THIS MOVIES GONNA BE SO FUCKIN FUNNY IM SO EXCITED. GOD I LOVE TERRIBLE SPIDERMAN MOVIES
“If you replaced Tom Hardy for Steve Martin in “All of Me,” and switched out Lily Tomlin for a wad of chewed-up black licorice, you’d have “Venom.”“
“When a major fight scene resembles a pair of black pants caught in a white wash, it’s fair to say you haven’t taken the audience with you.”
“It’s a train wreck of a movie, mixing and matching wildly dissonant tones, bizarre plot contrivances, and a truly unique lead performance.”
“Tom Hardy seems to be trying to be the first actor to win an Oscar and a Razzie for the same performance.”
“A film that feels like what you’d expect from a below average superhero flick circa 2004, like Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four.”
^ some of my fave critic review excerpts. i have never been more excited
some more
“The movie is so ridiculous that many viewers will at least be entertained in a dumbfounded way.”
“Think Affleck Daredevil. Think Ang Lee Hulk. Think Halle Berry Catwoman. That’s… I mean, that’s really all there is to be said, I think.”
“This is a movie that somehow slipped through a wormhole from 2004. That’s my biggest take. It’s a movie that spilled from the pre-MCU era through a crack in time and space… The humor, the story beats, everything right down to the Eminem theme song feels like it emerged Kimmy Schmidt style from a sealed off early ‘00s bunker.”
“Sorry to say that Venom is pretty much a complete failure — a tonal mess that feels 15 years old, ignoring the storytelling strides that the superhero genre has made in recent years.”
“Not sure I had the intended reactions to some scenes, but fun is fun — even when it’s totally ridiculous, right? It’s too bad they didn’t go for the R rating, though.”
“The cast seems to all know they’re in a darker superhero movie, except Tom Hardy who is basically remaking Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar.”
“This was at a Know Your Meme party at the Museum of the Moving Image in NYC. They had a gallery of memes hanging on the wall. I noticed my wife was wearing a red dress so I suggested she pose in front of the girl in the photo. While I was taking her picture someone came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in it, so I hopped in. Then the girl in blue walked up and said, “Hey! Let me be the other girl!” The whole thing was spontaneous and random, and of course it happened on the one day in my life I’m not wearing a plaid shirt.“ (x)
if u told me in 2008 that in 2018 there would be a know your meme party AT A MUSEUM and not in some fedora-wearing-pony-fuckers basement i would have instantly burst into flames like a phoenix and be reborn as someone who could handle this
Alligators bellow in infrasound to attract mates and declare territory. The sound causes a sprinkling of waves around their backs, called a “water dance.”
And now we know where the makers of Jurassic Park got their T-Rex sounds.
During thunderstorms at my previous zoo, our large male would mistake the thunder as a rival male, and start to bellow. It would shake the whole zoo. Super cool!
just engaged in an extremely petty silent war throughout the church service i was playing organ for, which is arguably very much not in the christian spirit but it was VERY fun
i say silent war, it was a pianist vs organist war, which is probably the least silent a war could be. but at no point was war explicitly verbally declared
what happened was the pianist playing some of the hymns and mid service music came up to me as i was practising beforehand and said to me, in a very patronising “i am a middle aged man and you are but a young woman so i know more than you” way, “that gloria is very difficult isn’t it!!”. so i was like ha, not really 🙂 and he decided to grill me on my whole musical past and tell me how he was incorporating beethoven’s ninth into his pre service improv and other such pretentious things
so naturally being a competitive and petty person i decided i would absolutely have to outdo him, which was not easy considering he was playing a decent keyboard and i was playing a tiny pipe organ that often performs as if someone just kicked it down several flights of stairs
and thus throughout the service we escalated in playing ridiculously flourishy accompaniments, a battle which culminated in him physically dancing down the aisles during my last hymn shaking a maraca with total haphazard glee, which i countered by becoming maybe the first person to force several jazzy glissandi into an 11:30am pipe organ rendition of “sing hosanna”. i enjoyed every second
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