D&D is first and foremost a co-operative game and the enjoyment and comfort of fellow players takes precedence over whatever beautiful arc you have in your mind. If you want complete control of the narrative, write a novel.
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True for both players and DMs.
Corollary point: as a player, it’s your job to be an interesting protagonist in a way that still allows for the GM and other players to also have their fun. As a player if you’re just there to fuck around, not contribute to the story, or act like you’re the main character, go play a videogame instead.
The worst kind of player is the kind who uses their characterization to be a dick to their groupmates. “But my character is just like that” well you made a bad character for this venue, do better by your team. Think about the other people at your table and whether you’re making it fun for everyone, not just yourself.
its so fucking funny when people in straight relationships try to use top/bottom language to describe their sex lives. my housemate was talking about “topping” her boyfriend and i was like “you peg him?” and she got all disgusted and was like NO I JUST LIKE BEING ON TOP!!!!
we really really need to oppress the hets man they’re playing with fire they’re using ideas they dont understand. they’re running with scissors
for the record, ‘not feeling anything’ is a valid and not unusual response to trauma or grief
so if you feel empty and devoid of feeling, it’s not because you’re a cold and uncaring person.
Sometimes, not feeling anything is the only way you can cope.
Be prepared for a delayed reaction, too. It’s very common to be totally calm during a crisis, and then days or weeks (or years) later suddenly get hit with a tidal wave of “HOLY SHIT THAT HAPPENED.”
Sometimes your mind waits until it feels safe to start processing things emotionally. It’s a powerful survival strategy, but it can really blindside you, because just as you start to feel like things are okay, you’re overwhelmed by the realization of how not-okay things were before.
This may not happen, and that’s okay too. But it’s something to watch out for when your initial reaction is numbness.
“Hi, I’m looking for a book with adventure, but no graphic violence.”
“I’m interested in a thriller that doesn’t have any rape scenes.”
“I want a gay main character but I don’t want it to be a coming-out story. And no anti-gay violence.”
“Oh, no, murder’s fine, but no animal cruelty.”
All separate reader’s advisory questions that I’ve answered, and successfully. I don’t know why any of these people asked for those specific parameters, and I didn’t ask, because it’s not my fucking business. And it’s no one else’s business, either–up to and including the government.
Librarians don’t make you reveal your trauma in order to justify what you read or write. You may be confusing us with, uh… *checks notes* …fandom.
We are literally trained not to ask. Any halfway decent reference professor nails it into you. Even if it would help you answer a question, you never ask a patron why they need something.
Some librarians will ask why you want it (because they don’t all get the same training) – but they don’t mean, “why the hell would you have an interest in this?” They mean, “is this for you, or for a school assignment, or to share with someone else,” which helps them figure out what range of similar books you might be interested in.
If it’s for you, you want books with those exact restrictions–but possibly any length, any author, including short stories as well as novels.
If it’s for an assignment, you may need to use recent books, or a specific range of authors, or only one genre.
If it’s to share with someone else, you may be looking for books within a particular age range, or books with a particular gender of protagonist, or books that are currently trendy enough that you’d’ve heard of them and offered to find one.
They DO NOT CARE what you like to read; all the books in the library are there to be read. They just want to help you find the book you’re looking for.
If a librarian (or bookstore employee, or anyone else) asks why you want a book, don’t tell them why you care about the contents; just say what you want to do with it – to read it; to study for a project; to give as a gift; to fill out a collection, or whatever.
CHECK OUT THIS GUEST COMIC by Shae Beagle!! how CUTE IS THIS!! Shae is the artist on the comic MOONSTRUCK which you should also definitely check out! go follow them on twitter and tumblr @pencilshaevings ! thanks again Shae for this amazing guest comic!!!!
I learned the importance of taking care of myself, of making myself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically sound. One always ties in with the next.
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