D&D is first and foremost a co-operative game and the enjoyment and comfort of fellow players takes precedence over whatever beautiful arc you have in your mind. If you want complete control of the narrative, write a novel.
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True for both players and DMs.
Corollary point: as a player, itโs your job to be an interesting protagonist in a way that still allows for the GM and other players to also have their fun. As a player if youโre just there to fuck around, not contribute to the story, or act like youโre the main character, go play a videogame instead.
The worst kind of player is the kind who uses their characterization to be a dick to their groupmates. โBut my character is just like thatโ well you made a bad character for this venue, do better by your team. Think about the other people at your table and whether youโre making it fun for everyone, not just yourself.
its so fucking funny when people in straight relationships try to use top/bottom language to describe their sex lives. my housemate was talking about โtoppingโ her boyfriend and i was likeย โyou peg him?โ and she got all disgusted and was like NO I JUST LIKE BEING ON TOP!!!!
we really really need to oppress the hets man theyโre playing with fire theyโre using ideas they dont understand. theyโre running with scissors
for the record,ย โnot feeling anythingโ is a valid and not unusual response to trauma or grief
so if you feel empty and devoid of feeling, itโs not because youโre a cold and uncaring person.
Sometimes, not feeling anything is the only way you can cope.
Be prepared for a delayed reaction, too. Itโs very common to be totally calm during a crisis, and then days or weeks (or years) later suddenly get hit with a tidal wave of โHOLY SHIT THAT HAPPENED.โ
Sometimes your mind waits until it feels safe to start processing things emotionally. Itโs a powerful survival strategy, but it can really blindside you, because just as you start to feel like things are okay, youโre overwhelmed by the realization of how not-okay things were before.
This may not happen, and thatโs okay too. But itโs something to watch out for when your initial reaction is numbness.
โHi, Iโm looking for a book with adventure, but no graphic violence.โ
โIโm interested in a thriller that doesnโt have any rape scenes.โ
โI want a gay main character but I donโt want it to be a coming-out story. And no anti-gay violence.โ
โOh, no, murderโs fine, but no animal cruelty.โ
All separate readerโs advisory questions that Iโve answered, and successfully. I donโt know why any of these people asked for those specific parameters, and I didnโt ask, because itโs not my fucking business. And itโs no one elseโs business, eitherโup to and including the government.
Librarians donโt make you reveal your trauma in order to justify what you read or write. You may be confusing us with, uhโฆ *checks notes* โฆfandom.
We are literally trained not to ask. Any halfway decent reference professor nails it into you. Even if it would help you answer a question, you never ask a patron why they need something.
Some librarians will ask why you want it (because they donโt all get the same training) – but they donโt mean,ย โwhy the hell would you have an interest in this?โ They mean,ย โis this for you, or for a school assignment, or to share with someone else,โ which helps them figure out what range of similar books you might be interested in.
If itโs for you, you want books with those exact restrictionsโbut possibly any length, any author, including short stories as well as novels.
If itโs for an assignment, you may need to use recent books, or a specific range of authors, or only one genre.
If itโs to share with someone else, you may be looking for books within a particular age range, or books with a particular gender of protagonist, or books that are currently trendy enough that youโdโve heard of them and offered to find one.
They DO NOT CARE what you like to read; all the books in the library are there to be read. They just want to help you find the book youโre looking for.ย
If a librarian (or bookstore employee, or anyone else) asks why you want a book, donโt tell them why you care about the contents; just say what you want to do with it – to read it; to study for a project; to give as a gift; to fill out a collection, or whatever.ย
CHECK OUT THIS GUEST COMIC by Shae Beagle!! how CUTE IS THIS!! Shae is the artist on the comic MOONSTRUCK which you should also definitely check out! go follow them on twitter and tumblr @pencilshaevings ! thanks again Shae for this amazing guest comic!!!!
I learned the importance of taking care of myself, of making myself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically sound. One always ties in with the next.