Things I want from a modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet:

ceracero:

imstuckathome12:

sophisticat42:

– Everyone is dressed in traditional costuming, but the script is in modern English.
– “Romeo, Romeo, why the FUCK did you have to be ROMEO?”
– Juliet talks like a rich white valley girl and wears a flower crown.
– She keeps taking inappropriately timed selfies and posting them on instagram.
– Tybalt won’t stop talking about his crossfit regime.
– Romeo only listens to My Chemical Romance.
– Mercutio’s Queen Mab speech is followed by Benvolio asking “Are you high right now?” (He is)
– Mercutio dabs on stage. Unironically. More than once.
– When the boys are all catcalling Nurse it’s super cringy.
– instead of “a sail! A sail!” You get “Hey Fatass!” “Fatass? I just see a boat!” “Weigh anchor! You’re gonna break the docks, Fatass!”
– Tybalt also dabs on stage, exactly twice.
– The first time is awful and his friends have to correct him.
– Tybalt dabs at Mercutio and Mercutio responds by doing a backflip and ending in a dab.
– The Tybalt/Mercutio fight is an absolutely serious dancebattle with no weapons.
– Mercutio still dies anyway.
– Tybalt tries to dance battle Romeo too, but Romeo keeps taking it too seriously and not dancing back.
– This is because Romeo only knows how to ballroom dance.
– Paris wears a trillby and calls it a fedora.
– Juliet Snapchats her own death.
– Romeo doesn’t have Snapchat.

The most in character post I’ve seen

@kweddellseal @nogenderonmars