peraltiagoisland:

Holt: Detective Peralta, how on earth did you manage to catch that criminal?

Jake: Well thank ya for askin’, I used the Bittenbinder method. When I saw the perp approachin’, I chewed up a tab of Alka-Seltzer I carry with me at all times. This created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like I had rabies. Now I’ve thrown him off his rhythm-